


Regret

by marvellouslynerdy



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 21:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19754020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvellouslynerdy/pseuds/marvellouslynerdy
Summary: Sometimes decisions we make aren't the right ones. And can leave one full of regret.





	Regret

The early morning light shone through the window, the shadows from the tall oak tree leaving dappled patterns across the worn timber flooring. The Red Special stood on a stand in the corner, the strings twinkling in the soft light. You glanced at the alarm clock on the bedside table. Ten past nine in the morning. Rolling over, you saw the tall, curly-haired figure of your boyfriend standing at the dresser buttoning up his shirt.

“Good morning.” you mumbled.

Brian smiled. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

“Where are you off to today? Are you staying here, still?” you asked, propping yourself up on one elbow.  
“No.” he said, and your heart sank. It was the first day Brian had been home since the end of the tour and you’d been hoping to spend it with him. He was too tired for anything last night and just went to sleep, which was understandable. But instead you were spending the day alone again. 

“I’m going to Freddie’s.” he said. “He’s been going through a bit of a rough patch. Gotta check up on him.”  
“Oh.” you said softly. You knew how deeply Brian cared about his friends, and they almost always seemed to be more important than you. 

“I’ll be back before lunch, dear. Shouldn’t be long.” he said, stooping down and gently pressed a kiss to your cheek. Only your cheek, you noticed. He quietly stepped out of the room, softly closing the door behind him.  
You lay there in bed, contemplating everything. Once upon a time, you had loved Brian with all your heart. He was one of the sweetest men you had ever met, he always had a compliment up his sleeve and a smile dancing behind his lips. 

With the success of Queen, Brian had been consistently touring and recording. He’d rarely been around, and you couldn’t remember the last time you’d entwined your fingers in his mane of curly hair and he’d told you that he loved you. While Brian was away on tour, the bed felt so much colder without his warm and comforting presence. Sleep was always restless and the nights lonely. With their growing success you knew you’d see less and less of the band and therefore, of Brian. 

Gradually, you shifted out of bed, and headed towards the kitchen. You put the kettle on to boil, made tea and waited, thinking. Maybe a relationship with a rockstar wasn’t the best move. Maybe it was better for to break things off before you felt even lonelier.

You sat there, the cup of tea growing colder in your tightly clamped hands. You were awakened from your thoughts by the sound of the front door opening.

“Love, you’re still not dressed, is everything okay?” came Brian’s voice from the door. He sounded concerned. It wouldn’t make things easier given what you were planning to do.

“Brian…” you began, blinking furiously to keep back the tears that threatened to fall. 

“What is it?” he asked, rushing forward and gently taking your hands in his own. He looked down at you with his hazel eyes, which were full of worry.

“I think… things aren’t working between us. You’ve been away. And I don’t think things can work properly. I care for you deeply but…” you trailed off. 

“What are you saying?” Brian asked. 

You looked up, not meeting his eyes. 

“I think my biggest regret was loving you.”

You released yourself from his soft grip, and left, closing the door to his flat behind you, not bothering to collect your things. That could wait. As you descended the stairs, your words echoed through your mind and you could already see you would regret them.

…my biggest regret was loving you.

~

It had been a month since you had left Brian. Roger had come around a few days later with some of the things you’d left behind.

“Are you sure?” he’d asked.

“It’s for the best.” you’d replied.

John had dropped by shortly after that. 

“You know he’s quite cut up about this.” he’d said. 

“So am I, John.” you’d replied curtly. 

“Then why did you leave him?”

John had had a point. But it was too late. You couldn’t go back to Brian, begging him to take you back. You’d just have to tough it out. 

However, in that month, you hadn’t brought yourself to meet other people. You hardly left the flat you were sharing with a friend, and only ventured out to buy groceries and to go work. And it was while you were coming home from work things changed again.

It was dark and snowy, the roads were slippery and the streets full of people trying to finish their Christmas shopping. The radio was tuned to a random channel, just providing some background noise. A vaguely familiar sounding guitar riff played through the old speakers in the car and you found yourself bopping your head in time. And then the vocals came through. 

“In the year of ‘39 assembled here the volunteers…”  
Your eyes filled with tears upon hearing that familiar voice that you loved so much. You slowly parked the car in the nearest spot you could find and you began to sob.   
You cried for the love you’d left behind. You cried because you missed him. And above all, you cried because of your own stupidity. You’d let go of the best man you’d ever found. You still loved him with all your heart and hoped he felt the same. Brian’s voice lulled you to sleep as you cried. 

When you awoke, the car was freezing cold and dawn was just beginning to break. The faint light fought its way through the heavy clouds and silhouetted city skyline. You groaned and went to start up your engine. It flickered to life then fell silent once more. 

“Great.” you mumbled, grabbing your coat and bag from the passenger seat and exiting the vehicle. You popped open the hood and were greeted with a hissing of smoke. “Oh, this is just brilliant.” You were stuck. It was the early hours of the morning and no repair place would be open, nobody would be able to help you. 

Panicking slightly, you gazed around your surroundings. There was a record store on the corner with a small cafe next to it. You used to go on dates there with Brian all the time. Because of this, you knew where you were. And it was only a short walk to somewhere safe and warm. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the most ideal place, and you were not ready to face your mistakes, but it would have to do. 

You locked the car, pulled your coat up higher around your neck and began to walk. 

Five minutes walk and two flights of stairs later, you found yourself facing a very familiar door. Slowly you reached up and knocked. 

Moments passed and there was no response. You braced yourself, went to knock again, and the door swung open mere millimetres away from your fist, which unfortunately greeted the face of the person behind the door. 

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry!” you exclaimed, as the person looked up to see you. 

Brian May’s hazel eyes widened in shock. 

“What are you doing here? It’s very early. Are you okay?” he asked quietly. 

“My car broke down. Your place is the nearest. I’m sorry. I can go.” you mumbled. 

“No, no, no, come in.” he said, stepping aside so you could enter. You awkwardly perched on one of the kitchen stools. As Brian hurried about making tea. 

“How’ve you been?” Brian was the first to break the silence. 

“Meh. You?” you replied. 

He chucked slightly. “Meh.”

“Bri, I’m so sorry-“ you began, but he held up a hand to stop you. 

“No. You have nothing to be sorry about. It’s my fault. It’s my fault we drifted and you were absolutely right for breaking up with me. I don’t want things to be awkward, even though they probably will be for a while. And no, I still haven’t moved on. We’ll just have to deal with it.” Brian said, handing you a mug of hot tea. 

“Good.” you replied, taking a sip of tea, the hot liquid warming you up instantly. “Because I haven’t moved on either.” you said softly. 

Brian’s eyes snapped up to meet yours. “Sorry?”

You sighed. “This past month, I’ve been trying to get over you. It didn’t work. I still love you.”

Brian nodded slowly. “And I, you.”

You took a deep breath. This was it. “I made a stupid mistake when I left. And I’ve regretted it since. Brian Harold May… will you take me back?”

Words weren’t needed. All that you knew was that Brian had pressed his lips against yours, and you’d immediately tangled your hands in his hair, just like you used to.   
You broke apart and giggled slightly. 

“I take that as a yes?”

“Of course. And I’m so sorry.” Brian whispered. 

You lifted a finger and placed it on his lips. 

“As am I.”

“Hush, now.” Brian said, stroking your hair with his long fingers. 

“I love you.” he said softly, beaming at you. 

You looked up into his eyes, lost in the swirling hazel and green irises you’d grown to love so much. 

“Brian?” you began. 

“Yes?” he asked quietly.

“My biggest regret was leaving you.”


End file.
